You Are Afraid of What You Really Want

You Are Afraid of What You Really Want | Asha Live Breathe Heal

A lot of people live in fear of themselves. “What if others won’t accept me? What if I’m no good? What if no one pays attention to me? What if I have no idea what I’m really talking about? What if this dream is too big for me to figure out and I fail, . . . again? What about security? Saving face?”

Fear almost boils down to “I can’t afford to lose”:
“It’s not practical to do the thing my heart longs to do. There’s no money in it and I need money to get by and survive. Even though the money I get never seems to be enough. I’m always strapped for cash and living paycheck to paycheck. And they aren’t exactly giving opportunities to people who are like me so that I can finally make enough money.” Or sometimes even, “I’ve clawed my way to the top, I can’t go back to being broke. Why would I, I have a degree. And clearly I’d be broke doing what I love. Even though my nerves are raw at subjecting myself to these people who see me this way. I’m constantly on the defense for a life I’m not really happy with anyway. This is just life and what people have to deal with.”
Even with Fear, Take a Step
I’m not going to pretend that some people don’t live in some truly binding circumstances. Situations that are by definition oppressive. I absolutely *will* suggest that acceptance of limiting circumstances may make you complacent. And complacency will keep you feeding your fears and denying yourself the satisfaction of a fight. Tweet This With bodily self-preservation in mind, a fight would mean figuring out the most micro step you could ever imagine towards yourself and what you really want. Taking that step as often as possible. And if possible, again without the threat of bodily harm, taking another micro step.
People *love* to entertain conversations about perceived snowflakes. Special people, with their particular set of privileges, being able to do the unthinkable. And we heartily play up excuses, otherwise known as fears, that keep us from embracing our truest desires. You were the one hollering “Yeah, but so and so  . . . is so ridiculously different from me/has all these privileges I don’t have/is an extrovert/introvert/has two parents/was never addicted to crack.”
What’s Real?
I completely understand reality and being a realist. Yes. Put it on the table. This is what the situation is. This is what I’ve had to deal with up to this point in my life. And it’s fucked up compared to someone else who you admire who hasn’t had to deal with your specific set of experiences. Which there should be space for you to discuss. But why condition yourself to NOT HOPE?!?!? Why not instead of meditating on what you lack and your mantra of “I could never do -blank- because . . .” Become, “Yeah, it’s a fucked up situation, but I’m DOING -this or that- as a means to actually live MY LIFE because that’s what I’ve been able to figure out so far. I have -this and I have that- and access to this, so I’m doing what I can, in my power, to be present and engaged in this life I’m living. And it’s all because I realize that every moment and every effort I make counts. It matters to me to do -blank- for myself.” Tweet This
But y’all ain’t tryin to hear me though. Because that would mean you’d have to actually *do something* about your time and energy other than perceiving yourself to be stuck in your situation.
What are your thoughts on your specific fear(s)?
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