The other side to being afraid to live the life you truly want to live is your very valid pain. I think that’s why when confronted with your truest desires, your pain comes into play. You heavily identify with your pain, and it has, up to a point, defined you.
You spoke to me passionately about your aspirations and I suggest you start a weekly vlog. You respond with “But I’ve always been told I have ugly feet.” Not to be glib, but sometimes that’s how it sounds to me. You believing that your weight, your intelligence, your lack of knowledge, whatever you perceive to be a huge obstacle/hurdle keeps you sat down where you are, not taking a step towards what you really want.
I hear you. Or rather I want to hear you. Or someone should hear you. Therapy is a miracle upon a miracle if you can connect with the right practitioner. And I hear God is just a prayer away.
You need a safe space to process your pain. 
Tweet This You need to make peace with it to let it go. And sometimes that’s a life long process. Of course you have to want to process your pain. But choose wisely if you share with someone. Don’t choose someone who will try to give you their pain, judge you, or be ambivalent to what you’re going through because they don’t know how to be present with you. You need someone who will actively listen to you and not dismiss or discard your feelings. You need someone to see your trauma. If you continue to embody your pain, and that’s the filter you interface with the world through, it will haunt you your entire life. It will creep into the corners of your eyes, and taint the words you unconsciously say to others. We have very powerful energy. Hurt people, hurt people isn’t a platitude for no reason. It’s super subtle (or not in some cases). That’s why when someone is rude to you, while you could be offended, more than likely, especially if it’s a stranger, it has to do with their day/life and you just came around at the wrong time to catch a harsh word. Miserable people. Ew. Pain is a fog through which you can’t possibly see yourself and others clearly.
Tweet This You need to make peace with it to let it go. And sometimes that’s a life long process. Of course you have to want to process your pain. But choose wisely if you share with someone. Don’t choose someone who will try to give you their pain, judge you, or be ambivalent to what you’re going through because they don’t know how to be present with you. You need someone who will actively listen to you and not dismiss or discard your feelings. You need someone to see your trauma. If you continue to embody your pain, and that’s the filter you interface with the world through, it will haunt you your entire life. It will creep into the corners of your eyes, and taint the words you unconsciously say to others. We have very powerful energy. Hurt people, hurt people isn’t a platitude for no reason. It’s super subtle (or not in some cases). That’s why when someone is rude to you, while you could be offended, more than likely, especially if it’s a stranger, it has to do with their day/life and you just came around at the wrong time to catch a harsh word. Miserable people. Ew. Pain is a fog through which you can’t possibly see yourself and others clearly.Some chose therapy, some choose God. Or both. The path isn’t as important as your moving towards wellness. The sooner you can start working through your trauma, the sooner you’ll be able to clarify what you want for yourself instead of living in pain. Instead of reacting to what’s happening in your life right now, you can start taking intentional action. Tweet This
Tweet ThisHave you taken a moment to look at yourself lately and question your internal affairs?
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